A toilet cleaning fairy tale

Once upon a time, there was a home with a toilet. That toilet needed occasional cleaning. This was a job none of the good people who lived in the home really wanted to do. Then, from the depths of the supermarket aisle for cleaning supplies, a hero arose to take on that very challenge. Just by squirting it on or letting it fizz or dropping it in the tank, this hero would cling/foam/dissolve/shine/coat/disinfect/deodorize to bravely fight toilet-dwelling life forms and stains of all origins, leaving the bowl sparkling clean for the good people of the home. The battle line between good vs. evil was drawn and the enemy was beaten back to a position of retreat located somewhere downstream of the flange in the bathroom floor. Our hero was victorious and is happily affordable enough to be with the good people of the home forever after.

And that’s the end, right?

This compelling story has been told many times. However, one feature of stories is that they often require the listener to suspend disbelief in order to enjoy the story. What realities lurk uncomfortably behind the scenes? It’s time to have a look at some of the plot holes.

Plot hole #1: The toilet (or toilet seat) is the grossest, dirtiest thing in the house and therefore fighting that monster with the most powerful weapons available makes sense.

A lot of work suggests that toilet seats are generally quite clean compared to household items like toothbrushes and toothbrush holders, bathmats or (possibly the worst), used kitchen sponges or dishrags. Interestingly and arguably, one of the most effective steps that can taken to minimize the spread of household toilet-related germs is to flush with the lid down and then lift the lid back up to let it dry post-flush. Flushing makes a small fraction of toilet water go airborne and toilets are most often flushed when their contents are less than pristine. How tough the bad guy in our story is may not be related to how tough the bad guy looks.

Plot hole #2: Potent chemicals either disappear or become harmless once flushed and so our hero will never become a villain.

Our story doesn’t state this but it is implied. Most chemicals capable of harming or killing life don’t stop being chemicals capable of harming or killing life just because they happen to be flushed down a toilet. Perhaps instead of a good guy/bad guy story, the more honest tale would be that of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde – the same character with a dual good and evil nature. Check out what the Environmental Working Group has to say about the product you are using now. Over half of the toilet cleaning products on the market score an “F” on their hazard rating scale.

Plot hole #3: Our hero is simple and well understood.

Because of trade secret protection laws, cleaning product manufacturers don’t have to list all ingredients on their label (although some manufacturers commendably do). What is federally required is that household cleaners containing chemicals of known concern name those specific chemicals on their label and include a warning detailing associated risks plus caution statements and first-aid guidance. What if a chemical concern isn’t known? Much more testing has been done to assess risks from acute versus chronic chemical exposure as well as quantify hazards associated with single chemicals versus chemical combinations. The hero of our story is more complicated character than portrayed.

We’re telling a different story. The composition of our toilet-cleaning product isn’t a trade secret – we make our product using baking soda and black walnut shell powder. Our product includes no fragrance of undisclosed origin and no disinfectant. Finely ground black walnut shells act as an abrasive hard enough to effectively clean but soft enough to not scratch porcelain and concurrent scrubbing with an abrasive enables a mild, non-toxic cleaner like baking soda to be more effective. Our product is intended to be part of an integrated cleaning regimen, not a solution for everything. For those who have taken control of their home cleaning routine to such a level that they make their own cleaners, we offer black walnut shell powder as a separate ingredient. There are no plot holes in our story about offering a non-toxic septic-safe aquatic-life-friendly toilet cleaner which includes a biodegradable abrasive made from 100% American-grown black walnuts. We believe that people should know all the ingredients in the household cleaners they are using so that they can make informed choices regarding how they want to clean their home. It’s easy to learn about us. We aren’t complicated and we believe that the more people get to know us, the more they will choose to work with us – and that’s our happily ever after.

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